Dragon age memoirs
by Raycat
Summary: Behind what happened in the game follow young Hawke and friends through their journey through Kirkwall.
1. Chapter 1

One year; that was the deal to gain safe haven into Kirkwall from the blight that took Carver. One year of getting paid to kill people, the Mercenaries. Aveline objected immediately but smuggling required skills no one in their group had. And honestly Anna Hawke liked the idea of killing. **_ Its only one year we can do a year with our hands tied behind our back. _**Hawke would say to herself. She needed to keep her spirits high after everything that happened on the way out of Loathering. Aveline's husband and Carver (it had been hard getting out and Hawke almost cried for Aveline's loss but she had to be strong.) After all Hawke had a reputation to keep up with. And crying herself to sleep every night over the loss of her brother was not part of this reputation.

Four months into their sentence. Hawke was up first it had become a habit of hers to stay out late walking the streets looking for common thugs then waking up early to do assassination jobs. Her assassinations were like works of art to her, the way blood would splatter and spray thick viscose red blood. Meeren the boss took notice of this and insisted Hawke training the newer recruits his reasoning for this was that Hawke was the best he has had in quite a long time and wanted to keep her skills after she left. However Hawke hated it with the deepest passion and most of her requites came back broken or dead sometimes but that's the way of the job. It was due to this that Meeren would often take Hawke aside and chat with her about jobs. He was a good boss after all, she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him but he was a good boss.

Five months in: Bethany and Aveline were out, it was summer in Kirkwall which meant hot humid. The two walked side by side in light armor Bethany hated mercenary work, hated hurting people. She knew it was necessary but never the less she still despised it add the fear of Templar's finding her and she was a stressed wreck. But she knew one thing for sure and that was her older sister wouldn't let the Templar's take her, not while she drew breath. It had been a promise Hawke had made when they entered Kirkwall and her older sister always kept her word. The thought of her sister made her stomach tighten Bethany didn't like violence but Hawke seemed drawn to it, she knew what Anna did at night the fights she had. She would come home covered in blood cut bleeding or worse she wouldn't come home instead she would work all night.

Bethany sighed heavily her eyes on the ground and her mind in her thoughts until Aveline said "Are you alright Bethany? You seem distracted"

"No I'm fine" She said with a smile "How is getting into the guard going?"

"Not good they don't much like Fereldens even if I did serve the king" She said heavily.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be nothing to be done about it I just have to prove myself" She said

Bethany smiled again as a reply, knowing Aveline would make it into the guard she was too stubborn to give up on it. Hawke stood by the docs waiting for them in her found black leather armor a pair of daggers on her back.

"About time you too slow pokes got here" Hawke smiled "The targets are down there haven't moved in a while guess they're having a meeting"

"Then let's go crush it" Aveline said and the two of them walked down quickly Bethany in the rear. Their targets were a group of slavers Hawke didn't ask why they were killing them and honestly no one cared why they were slavers her older sister hated them as much as Templar's. There was a group of around seventeen Aveline and Hawke took the lead one after the other staying close to Bethany who was swinging fire balls. They were dispatched easily and they went off back to lowtown to get paid and waited for the next available job.

Eight months in: Aveline say in high town watching Hawke pace back and forth cursing under her breath. They had a mission to kill a noble man who didn't pay the thieves guild thus Meeren told his best to kill him. Hawke brought Aveline as a technicality due to Bethany's insistence that she shouldn't go alone. When the two women got there however the man was gone it was the only job Hawke had ever failed she hated it. She stood there swearing every unholy thing she could think of in her frustration.

"Calm down Hawke. I'm sure he will pop up eventually" Aveline said after a bit.

Hawke groaned in frustration brushing hair from her face and sat down next to her "Yeah I know I don't like losing"

Aveline laughed "I know you don't" The two of them laughed and Hawke sighed again as she looked up at the sky. "Your mother said you used to have an estate up here"

"Yeah I think we did at one point. I'd hate to live here though it's to stuffy and full of prudes who can't save them self's" Hawke sighed "But any thing would be better than where we are. "

Aveline laughed again "Where would you rather live in Darktown?" sarcasm was deeply present.

"No just I miss home a little." Hawke sighed looking back down at Aveline who had a twisted look on her face "Sorry"

"Don't be. You think you could go back?" Aveline asked as Hawke snorted a laugh "You've been talking to Bethany again haven't you"

"Only a little" Aveline laughed as Hawke sighed dodging the question as a group of thugs walked up.

Hawke smiled evil a perfect outlet for her rage, they were dispatched quickly Aveline didn't even need to get up. She sighed heavily as Hawke looted the bodies and they walked back to low town in silence. Aveline walked home to talk to Ms. Amell while Hawke reported the man was gone. After a half hour she walked in with a yawn.

"Welcome home dear!" leiandra said from the small fire place.

Hawke waved slightly with a smile and walked into her and Bethany's room. Since Loathering Hawks avoided her mother, honestly once you say a sibling's death was your fault there's really nothing else to be said. She pulled off her armor and fixed the blankets on the floor laid down and fell asleep listening to Mother and Aveline talking about Ferelden. The amulet the witch of the wilds gave Hawke weighed on her spirit, she needed to take care of that as soon as possible it made her uneasy to have an open promise.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally the year was over, Aveline had made it into the guard finally, and she had made an enemy with the captain, as the only way to get in was over his head. Due to the direct order of the Viscount was she able to join. Bethany soul was free finally out of the work of killing people now all she had to worry about was Templar's. Hawke was utterly tired of Bethany constantly ducking into allies, it clearly didn't help them blend in she understood why she did it but still. Now Hawke loved her sister dearly but the constant hiding and dodging was getting painfully annoying, the templar's were evil yes and the circle in Kirkwall was un-human however, the constant hiding and ducking and panic attacks didn't help. But Bethany would never stop and Hawke would never let them take her.

The two were walking back from being turned down from the deep roads when they ran into Verric, almost as if he planned it. He offered to help them if they raised 50 sovereigns he would get them into the expedition. **_Yeah not hard _**Hawke laughed to herself and accepted Verrics offer. After that the next thing to do was to get the amulet to the Dalish Elves. Which they gaining Merrill, a young Elvin blood mage, who Hawke loved she was so out of place and sweet. Merrill with all her questions and insecurities, Hawke was tempted to just hug her; she had these you kicked my puppy look in her eyes that was simply heart breaking. Bethany wasn't a fan of her due to the blood magic issue but other than that the group was getting along great. Verric and Merrill hit it off well and fast friends, and given enough time Hawke was sure Bethany would come around. A smile hung on her face the whole walk back to Kirkwall even after the witches forewarning, however Hawke was happy a weight had been lifted from her, no more damn amulet.

Aveline was usually busy with the guard to help out after all the Qunari had landed and tensions were high. Hawke was ever the more popular as it turns out she had set the ears of Kirkwall a blaze for her skills and she had letters coming in from half the city. But first thing was first she needed maps into the deep roads. Verric had explained this and there was a Warden in town that just might have some. As much as she loved the Wardens the fact she had to go beg wasn't her style and made her feel uneasy. However against her better judgment they went to find the escaped warden. First going through a refugee station then to Darktown, turns out the man was a healer and a good one. The group made their way down to darktown Merrill was at her new home "Examining it." With a sigh paused collecting herself Hawke waited by the clinic doors for Bethany and Verric to catch up; finally pushing open the light doors and walked in. A blond mage stoop over a young boy the three of them watched in silence as the mage pulled every last ounce of mana he had in to healing the boy. After several tense minuets the boy finally drew breath as the mage collapsed against someone to whom Hawke thought was the boy's father.

"Hello there sir mage" Hawke managed to say lowly so only Bethany heard before the mage sprang up again glowing his staff in his hand and yelled "I've made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation. Why do you threaten it?"

"I didn't mean to" Hawke blinked at him quietly he was handsome and for some reason Hawke lost her nerve around him which was a first. "I'm planning a deep roads expedition I was um wondering if you had a way in… you know since you're a warden…" she blurted out half way across the room, she was sure everyone in the room was either listening to their conversation or watching them.

Bethany looked at her sister horrified never before had she seen Hawke nervous around people Verric had taken a note of this too, making a metal note to use it in one of his stories "Hawke the shy murderer" the title needed work.

"Are you here to take me back to the Wardens? I wound go back they made me get rid of my cat. Poor sir pounce a lot hated the deep roads"

"One you had a cat in the deep roads!? Two I thought the Wardens were for life?" Hawke said quickly pushing her butterflies filled stomach down.

"Yeah a noble beast. Swatted a Grenlock on the nose once Drew blood too. And if you don't dress up you don't have to go to the parties"

Hawke giggled a little quickly clearing her throat and asked again "Would you be interested in helping us?"

"Dear I'll die a happy man if I never think of the blighted deep roads again" He paused "But a favor for a favor does that sound fair?"

"What sort of favor? I don't do anything involving children and animals" Bethany looked at her sister again a shocked horrified look on her face.

He smiled lightly "No My friend Karl is in the chantry I told him I would get him out help me and the maps are yours"

"Oh joy lets go ambush templar's" Bethany sighed this was the worst thing she could think of as Hawke said "OK we will meet you there"

"Thank you"

Hawke turned with a sigh looking at Bethany and Verric both of whom looked annoyed. "Hawke I'm not a fan of biting the templar's in the butt"

"Well how else are we going to get in to the deep roads?" Hawke sighed looking at the dwarf "Plus this was _your idea_" she sighed looking at him as Verric shook his head.

The three of them did a few small favors the rest of the day running up to high town Chantry the blond mage waiting by the door. "I saw Karl go in"

"Good then let's go" Hawke said as they walked in the mage mumbling something about letting him talk to Karl first. Karl was waiting up stairs and to every ones dismay Karl had been made Tranquil and to add insult to injury there were a handful of Templar's. As soon as the blond mage whose name turned out to be Anders found Karl some switch was flipped and he began glowing this bright blue and throwing fire balls or horror screaming things. The Templar's were killed quickly with only a scrapes and small cuts. After a moment of talking Karl wished to die a mage and not Tranquil which no one could blame him for Bethany had began tearing up seeing a tranquil made terrified her to no end. Anders granted the wish and they left, his shoulders hunched like a hurt dog.

"So what was that whole glowy thing about?" Hawke asked as they reached his clinic again trying to as gentle as humanly possible after all the man just lost a friend. It didn't come out as nice as she had hoped though.

"When I was in Amaranthine I met a spirit of Justice. He was trapped outside the fade possessing a corpus I lent him my body. But once we were intertwined he changed. He is no longer my friend Justice, he is a spirit of vengeance and I feel like my rage did this" Anders explained.

"Well, least he can't complain about his looks" Hawke said blankly Bethany sighed pinching the brim of her nose. All Hawke needed was an awkward clap and a sway of the hips to make this pathetic attempt at a cheer up work. Verric shook his lightly making another metal note to use this too.

Anders chuckled little "I'll have to check a looking glass more often. Any way the maps are yours and so am I if you need me I'm Anders"

"I could think of a couple things" Hawke murmured to herself and then said louder "I'm Hawke nice to meet you sir mage I actually have a favor to ask" Hawke smiled "There's and entrance into our old house filled with slavers right next door, would you want to help us with clearing it?"

"As I said I am yours if you need me" Anders said blankly after all they had just stopped fighting templar's and now she was going off to fight slavers.

"Good I need you Anders" Hawke smiled an evil smile only aware of how sensual it sounded after she'd said it."Plus I'm sure you have some rage issues to work out what better way than to kill slavers?"

Her face was a bright red as she turned quickly and walked out Bethany Behind her giggling silently. Verric left saying something about errands he needed to do which was a lie for the most part, leaving Bethany and Hawke standing by the tunnel.

"So a mage?" Bethany giggled nudging her in the ribs lightly.

"I like blonds" Hawke mused half out of it as her eyes panned around the entrance.

Bethany laughed so hard tears formed in her eyes "Sister I've never seen you flirt, you're horrible at it"

Hawke sighed heavily looking at her for a moment then said "Oh shut up or I'll give you to the Templar's."

"You would give your sister to templars?" Anders snapped from the door oblivious to the previous conversation as Hawke groaned **_of all the times to walk in on a conversation! _**But instead of justifying it she just shrugged walking to the entrance. Bethany was laughing again then mumbled to Anders that she was joking as his jaw was half open he had half a mind to continue to yell at this Hawke girl.

The information on the house was correct it was in fact inhabited by slavers which turned Hawke's stomach. However it was night still and it was less populated the whole invasion took only an hour. Hawke had broken out her bow killing a large majority of the enemies. Once the vault was in sight Bethany grew excited jumping up and down racing Hawke in. They found the Will and some sovereigns whom Hawke divided up as Bethany bolted off saying something about showing mother the will.

"So hightown?" Anders his nose was bleeding, which he healed wiping the blood off as they walked out.

"Yes I guess we had a house here, it belonged to our grandparents" Hawke sighed "Bethany is obvious more excited about it"

"I see this. So you two are from Ferelden?"

"Yeah, loathering more specifically. What about you?"

"The circle"

"I meant before that" Hawke said blankly looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

"The Anderfells.I went to the circle when I was 12" He paused "I burned my parents barn down" He said in a tone that made Hawke laugh to which she quickly said "I don't mean to laugh"

"It's okay"

"How did you get out of the circle? And the wardens" Hawke paused "Are you an escape artist?"

He laughed a little "No dumb luck mostly but I escaped the circle seven times the seventh I went to Amaranthine where I was conscripted in to the wardens by the queen. Then escaped that by burning a corpse"

Hawke stopped walking half way through his story and looked at him blankly her jaw half open. "You should give your stories to Verric" She laughed.

"Yeah except my stories are mostly true"

"Mostly?"

"Well I can't tell everyone the queen had a thing for me"

Hawke burst out laughing "Oh yes the queen who any one with half of brain could tell you how much she adores the king. Had a thing for you"

"That's why I can't tell anyone"

"I think you have an inflated ego" Hawke laughed.

"Perhaps" Anders smiled pulling the door open for her as they exited the tunnel.

The clinic was empty leaving Hawke time to scope the place out thoroughly as she bid Anders good night and walked off.

Anders Locked the clinic doors walking back to his small cot staring up at the ceiling finally sleep over took him and he entered the fade. In the last year he hadn't been sleeping quite so well, with the joining and Justice binding with him sleep was hard. And tonight was no better the little he did sleep he dreamt of Karl his friend should not have been made tranquil he was a good mage and passed his harrowing. The fear of the circle was growing, he hated Kirkwall more and more every day he was here, but mages needed help and that was reason to stay. Slowly evolving plan of how to help all the mages in all of the free marches be free of the circle. He awoke from his dreams in a cold sweat just as the sun started to peak over the chains of the gallows.


End file.
